Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
