when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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