well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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