Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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