making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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