Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
