that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
