I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A+ Viking dick
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
