she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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