I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We have started to decorate penises.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize