I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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