are you so shy because you have an std?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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