I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
