I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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