Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
