i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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