I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
