I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
