where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize