Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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