his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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