so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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