epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
