If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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