He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize