is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
