there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
