so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
