Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
