there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
