trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
