And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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