batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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