how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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