I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
