im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
