how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
