he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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