Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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