currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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