Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
