the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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