We're facebook friends in real life
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I enjoy the company of your penis
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