Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
