Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
