remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
