I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
