I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
