Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
