like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
