did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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