you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize