Dual....:-)
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize