You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I understand Curling. That high.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
