Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
