I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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