Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
