She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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