Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
