Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
