Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
