He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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