Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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