In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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