Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
