I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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