Apparently you make a good broom.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
