I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
